- My fur is anti-allergenic
- I am a natural redhead
- The mere sight of cargo shorts will trigger a fit of rage
- Jack Link’s great grandfather, Chris, first spotted me on a moonlit night in northern Wisconsin and mistook me for a gorilla
- I am allergic to maple trees, but I love to climb maple trees, which is a problem
- I can run at more than 35 miles per hour
- I can scamper to the top of a 100-ft oak tree inside 15 seconds
- The smell of patchouli will trigger a fit of rage
- The first hiker that ever messed with me spent several months in a full-body cast and to this day walks with a severe limp but, we’re cool now
- My best friend is a salmon named Gary
- I subsist on a diet of nuts, berries, and peat moss. Were I to eat Jack Link’s Jerky, I would likely prefer Teriyaki
- My thumbnails are sharp enough to slice open a can of baked beans
- I can drink 7 gallons of fresh stream water in less than a minute
- The sound of prog rock will trigger a fit of rage
- Sometimes I choose to hibernate, other times I go to Florida
- I like pinecones, because they make me laugh
- I once modeled for a community college life drawing class
- I can perfectly mimic the calls of a Western Moose (a species I like to tease and wrestle)
- I can hurl a190-lb man the length of two football fields
- I do not like squirrels. I find them…shifty
- If you don’t mess with me, I won’t mess with you
Last Update: Aug 10, 2017 7:24 am CDT
